Thing’s I’ve Noticed About Wearing a Mask

It makes ugly people easier to look at.
I can sneeze without covering my mouth.
You cannot see my lips move when I mouth “asshole”.
It makes you think I give a shit whether you live or die.
It gives me a great excuse for not understanding your mumbled line of bullshit.
You don’t know who I am when I fart.
You can’t tell when my nose is running.
You can’t see food in my mustache.
It keeps me from smelling your nasty cologne or perfume.